Should I stay or should I go?

Haven’t we all been here? The obvious answer is that it depends on your circumstances, either way it needs some thought and discussion. It’s quite common to feel a bit unnerved right now, New Year, new beginnings and all that.

Sometimes having a bit of a break gives you time to reflect and consider changing your circumstances. What’s this life and all that! A sheet of paper with good and bad columns can make things clearer if not solve anything. It’s always best to start with negatives -things you can’t change, don’t want, can’t do for whatever reason; than it is to start dreaming up an expansive future that seems completely ridiculous and out of reach.  That will give you a clearer idea of where you’re not going and very possibly some ideas of where you can –if you had whatever is missing. Can you fill that gap? Can you afford to? If you want to change tack then list all the jobs you just can’t consider.

Simple things to fix are personnel issues, as in others in your team that report into you – it may seem a herculean task if you’re not getting on with someone who’s making your life miserable but that’s a stay or go. If you can’t or don’t want to fix that then take a very deep breath and plan a strategic exit.

However, these things can be solved though, don’t just assume it can’t. First you have to find out why you got to here – have you allowed someone to walk over you? Top tip –if someone says or does something that you don’t like or makes you feel uncomfortable – SAY SOMETHING AT THE TIME. Don’t, please don’t, let it fester and mutter under your breath or complain to colleagues. You can be polite and state how it makes you feel without shouting the odds and perhaps making things worse. ” If you have to take someone to task for any reason it should always be done in private. Certainly not in a hotel foyer, work corridor or open plan office setting.

Your response to my suggestion made me feel really awkward and I wonder why you did that in the meeting?” or “What is it that you don’t like about my plan?” Be calm, don’t swear, and don’t make personal comments.

Write down what upsets you; keep a diary. Is there a schedule to this feeling? Make a plan to resolve your issue; talk to a trusted colleague, your Union rep (they’re experienced in all sorts of work related difficulties). Above all, don’t let it get out of hand before you do contact your Union rep. and certainly please tell them before it gets to anything formal. It’s surprising what a chat with an experienced, impartial head will solve.

Whatever action you decide on, taking action is always a good thing – it gives you a boost knowing you’re doing something about it. Even if that’s just a good walk to clear your head and give you time to think. A problem left to fester is a sore wound that just won’t heal without some action. Doing nothing isn’t going to help at all. Make a plan. Talk.

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